Crystal Clear Valentine
by file- DS
Summary: If there is one day Crystal hates, it's Valentine's day. Why? Well in these circumstance, wouldn't anyone?  Ironic title


_Hello reader(s), god I hope that's plural, how ya doing. This story is a little… different. It's a Valentine's Day one shot, I'm not giving away the ship just yet, but I think it will satisfy. Not, most of my work I try to hold at a fair standard of… well a balance of things, and comedy usually isn't the main focus but more thrown in when it works. This fic is different because I let comedy take full priority, and that has made me change my entire style of writing, at least slightly. It is somewhat inspired by Fan-chan and SS19's ZAFPSA, so if you read and like that I hope this works, and for those who haven't read it and want something over the top and funny, well go read it (after you finish this)!_

_Hobby ho, and so we go._

_Disclaimer: The ownership, rights to, and control over pokémon special or any part of the pokémon franchise belong to people who currently not me… or something like that._

An alarm clock on her bedside table woke Crystal for a new day. "AAAH", she stretched, pulling herself free of her bed covers. She looked out the window, "Wow, sun's shining, and not a cloud in the sky; a perfect day to go out catching more pokémon".

All of a sudden her poke gear started beeping. She grabbed it from atop her dresser and flipped it open. The calendar automatically opened up, and showed the current date, the dreaded, February 14. Crystal's face dropped to pale in an instant. "Valentine's Day…" she sighed, dropping her head, "Please Celebi with all you great powers of time change this".

The doorbell rang and Crystal ran back to her window to check who was outside. It of course was none other than Gold. "Why?" Crystal's face was filled with something resembling terror, "Why every year do I have to suffer through this?"

She quickly got dressed, fixed her hair, and packed her bag; Gold continuing to pressing the doorbell button the whole time. Finally she was ready. She was ready to face the music and answer the door when she heard Gold calling from outside, "Hey super serious gal! What are you doing, come out here and give me a Valentine's Day kiss!"

'Oh, Arceus!' she thought, 'No way am I even going to talk to him today now'. She walked downstairs, careful to avoid any windows Gold could spy on her through. Once she made it down, she walked through the kitchen and slipped out through the back door.

A half hour later, at a small café across Newbark, Crystal sat, eating a breakfast of a banana muffin, slice of coffee cake, and a glass of tea. 'He'll never find me here, he hates these quaint cafes', she thought to herself, 'and I got a booth in the back where he can't even see me without barging through the whole store'.

As if on cue, the door of the restaurant burst open, and through it came Gold, riding his skate board. "HEY, GET OUTA THE WAY!" he yelled as he tripped over a chair and landed in a booth in the back, the same booth where a certain blue haired girl was eating breakfast.

"Oh, super serious gal, it's you", he said, his feet above the back rest or the seat he was in and head on top of the table as he looked up to see Crys sitting across from him, staring at disbelief at her now skateboard track covered meal.

"Wha… How… Why the hell are you here? I though you hated this place!" "I do, but I needed to grab something to eat while I searched for you. But since your already here our date can begin", he did a 180 and sat in the chair properly (except for his feet being up on the table and having a skate board under one arm), "I spent ten minutes ringing your doorbell this morning, you could have left a note or something". Crystal just sat back and decided to deal with him for an hour or so.

Ten minutes later they were still sitting at the booth. Crystal had a new muffin and another cup of tea to replace the ones Gold destroyed, while Gold had about half the restaurant's food stock. "So", he started, his mouth stuffed, "for our date I was thinking we go see that new action movie, then…" Crystal ignored the rest of what he was saying.

'Great, now I'm stuck with him for the rest of the day', she thought, 'Well at least it's only one day', she found a bright side.

"…then after that", Gold continued, "it should be pretty late, so should we go to your house, or mine", Gold finished with one of his pervy smiles.

"W-WHAT!", Crys shouted, "What the hell is wrong with you!" She kicked a plate that held an apple pie Gold had been eating and sent is hurling toward his face. Then she stormed out of the store.

"Hey, wait", Gold can after her, his face full of pie crust and mashed apples. He made his way for the door, "Don't-", he was cut short by the manager grabbing him.

"I think you forgetting something, the bill", the manager shoved the bill in Gold's face.

"Ummm, I don't have any money on me, sorry", Gold shrugged. "Well lucky for you we accept payment in work. You can start by cleaning up the tables that have skateboard tracks on them, then once you're done that, your table is still a mess!"

Crystal soon found herself in the beautiful Ecrutiek City. "Okay, I doubt Gold would chase me this far. Now I can just sit back and enjoy-"

"Ah, if it isn't the wonderful Miss Crystal", a voice came from nowhere.

"Who's there?" she whipped out a pokeball and looked around.

"If you're trying to find me, might I suggest looking up", the voice advised. Crystal did so to see none other than the 'incredible' Eusine hovering in mid-air! "Might I presume you are amazed by my powers of defying gravity?"

"Uhhh", Crystal gave him a blank look, "I can see the strings, and your Jumpluff that their attached to". She pointed to the jumpluff a few meters above Eusine who was attached to it by a few threads.

"Wait! What? These invisible wires cost me a fortune!" Eusine shouted, untying himself. "If I find that magikarp salesman I'm gonna-", He was cut off as he freed himself from the last thread and instantly plummeted to the ground (a 7-10 meter drop).

Getting back to his feet as if nothing had happened Eusine continued, "Ahh, madam, nie, Lady! Crystal, I had a prediction from Morty just the night prior hence, a prediction which saw a fair maiden, you, with me, and I am to fall head over heal, but in love of course".

Crystal took a stepped back and gave him a confused look, "Uhhh…"

"Haven't thou realized? Tis the time when the spears launch by cupid sore with grace the chest of those whom aren't meeting their true love!"

"Uhhh, yes, it is valentine's day", Crys hesitated, starting to realize what was going on, "ummm…. But I promised to go and… help out at the pokémon daycare, so I'm kinda busy today", she made a quick lie.

"The daycare? Well then let us post heist, the journey their can take time, and the sun is already at its highest point", Eusine said.

"Oh, no, you don't have to come, I'll be fine", Crystal waved her hand like she were shooing him away.

"But I must. It wouldn't be gentlemanly to abandon ones lady to strife", he was not easy to ditch.

"Well, ummm…", she struggled to think something up, "…hmmm. Oh I give up! Archie let's go!", she shouted as she released her arcanine from its poke ball and hopped on before it turned around and sprinted off, full speed.

"Wait, Madam Crystal, might a gentleman make his place in assisting thou? Can thoust let me beith of assistance if no more?" Eusine said, following Crystal on his electrode.

'Damn', Crys thought, 'I forgot how fast that electrode was', "Archie, hurry up!'

She saw a ledge coming up, one of the short cuts between Goldenrod and Ecrutiek city (okay, I know there are none on the main road, but pretend there is). 'This might just work!' Crystal though, "Archie, run toward the ledge, but careful not to make it obvious there's a jump there when you get close okay", she told her pokémon, who nodded in acknowledgement.

They neared the ledge and the arcanine gracefully stepped over it as if there was no ledge there at all, so gracefully in fact, that anyone following probably wouldn't even notice it was there at all. Eusine of course didn't notice the ledge, and on an electrode that was already difficult to balance on, Crystal's plan to sent him flying into the woods seemed to be about to work, but she had forgotten one important thin, electrode explode sometimes. As soon as Eusine's electrode made contact with the ledge, the unexpected jolt made it instantly explode, sending Eusine flying into the sky.

When she heard the explosion Crystal turned around to see what had happened. She then shrugged and continued heading to Goldenrod.

As Crystal arrived in Goldenrod city, one thought went through her head, 'where is the best place to hide in this place'. She returned her arcanine as not to attract attention and walked toward the entrance to the city basement, 'perfect'.

She climbed down the stairs to the basement and walked into a maze that went throughout that floor. "Okay, the way out is just over that way", she said to herself, making sure to remember exactly where she was. Making another turn she walked down another hallway, but all of a sudden the wall shut behind her! She looked in front of her and saw the entire maze had warped. "Wh-what? WHAT!", she started to freak out, "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!"

The walls instantly changed again to reveal Silver behind one. He was in his usual clothes, had some type of communication devise in his ear, and was holding a large controller looking thing. "Crystal? What are you doing here?"

"Umm, avoiding some people, why are you here? And what's going on with this place?"

"This was part of team rocket's base, I'm here searching it for Green, since he didn't report me after the whole mask of ice incident, I thought I should make it up to him".

"Oh", Crys said, 'you do realize he would have reported you if Gold hadn't stopped him', she finished the thought to herself.

"The walls here change a lot, that's what this remote is for, it has a map of this place, as well as controls the walls", Silver explained.

"Oh, perfect, so can you use it to help me get out of here?"

"Sure", was Silver's simple answer.

They spent a minute or two walking through the maze; even with a map, it took some time, neither of them said a word at first. Finally Silver broke the silence, "So after we get out of here do you want to watch a movie?"

Crystal's face went white as she thought, 'even Silver is asking me out'. "Umm, sorry, but I can't. I umm, have to catch some pokémon for professor Elm today", she lied.

"Well, I could help you with that, I'm almost done here", Silver offered.

'He's not going to give up is he', she thought, 'plan B then'. She grabbed the controller from Silver and sprinted down the nearest hallway, closed the hallway with the controller. She made it the rest of the way out, ignoring Silvers yells to let him out.

Finally, free of the boys chasing her Crystal went back to her house. Unfortunately for her, once she got the, she found Gold, Eusine, and Silver already waiting outside (if I get a single review asking how Silver got there…). 'Great', she thought, 'now what do I do?' She thought for a moment that decided.

Soon she was back at the place where she always practiced catching pokemon when she was young. "Ahh", she said, relaxing in the quiet area, "It's actually kind of ironic, if any of them tried to ask me out on any other day I would have said 'yes'".

… _okay, I know what's coming, half of you hate this because you felt your favourite shipping was just insulted or something, and the other half hate it because it makes no sense. Personally, my biggest problem with this is I don't think I did Silver very well, but I was sorta rushed by the end._

_For those who are annoyed about the shippings, I just didn't want another generic Valentine's Day one which would get lost among the ton of other one-shots being posted today. I thought this was creative and funny._

_For those who think it's just stupid, or doesn't make sense, it IS a humour fic, borderline crack fic even, so I thought it would be fine to bend the rules a little okay. If you thought I should have something more serious, of changed the idea, I'm sorry, but Manga-quest has always been my least favourite of the main shippings, not that I don't like it, I just prefer frantic, and special, and old rival, and even haughty; it's just my opinion._

_Anyway, please Review and such if you have something to say, or just if you're in a good mood, cause reviews always help. C-ya next time _


End file.
